"For the last time," Iwaizumi says, for what is definitely not the last time. "Ushiwaka is not an alien."
"Yes he is," Oikawa says, with the same steady belief he has in his team, in the rising and setting of the sun. "He is most definitely an alien, Iwa-chan, how else do you explain those starry eyes of his? He comes from outer space. No human could possibly be so…"
"So?" Iwaizumi prompts, raising an eyebrow.
"So… Ushiwaka." Oikawa scrunches his nose up. "It's disgusting. I can't look away."
"There's probably a really simple explanation for that, you know," Iwaizumi says slowly. "I mean. Really simple. And I'm here for you to talk about it if you want. Not that you have to. It's just. You've been fixating on Ushiwaka for a while and you keep talking about his face and his shoulders, and I think you need to—"
"Oh my god," Oikawa gasps. "I can't believe it took me this long to realise."
Iwaizumi waits, feeling a little smug. He's ready for this. He's prepared. He's even got a bookmarked page in his internet browser titled How To Be Supportive Of Your Gay Best Friend. Because when he typed, what the fuck do I do about my friend being into ushiwaka and when is he going to a) realise b) shut up, he didn't come up with any results.
"I have to get closer to him," Oikawa whispers and, okay, Iwaizumi supposes. That's one way of putting it. "If I somehow find a way to get into the tiny group of friends he maybe has, then I can observe him from closer. I can find proof."
"What," Iwaizumi says, because.
What.
"You're right, Iwa-chan, it is really simple." Oikawa pats him on the shoulder. "I can't stop thinking about him because I don't know anything about the kind of alien he is. Maybe if I pretend to be good friends with him, he'll drop some hints without realising."
"Uh." Iwaizumi considers his options. Oikawa isn't going to listen to him, he doesn't even know why he assumed that might be the case. At least this way, he'll end up actually talking to Ushiwaka. He might even end up realising his feelings that way. Maybe. Hopefully.
•
"So," Oikawa says, giving Iwaizumi a conspiratorial grin. "I'm dating Ushiwaka."
Iwaizumi blinks at him. "What."
"I'm going to lull him into a false sense of security. I'm going to be the best boyfriend ever and he isn't going to suspect a thing. I'm going to uncover all his secrets. I'm going to stop the alien invasion before it can happen. I'm going to be a hero."
Iwaizumi opens his mouth, then shuts it again. He frowns. "Oikawa, it's been a week since you decided you were going to be friends with him."
"This was easier," Oikawa says dismissively. "He asked me to have coffee with him and he paid. This is going to be the easiest investigation ever."
"Uh huh," Iwaizumi says. "Good luck with that."
•
"You know what," Oikawa says, five years later, when he and Ushiwaka are sitting in a restaurant together. He turns to Ushiwaka. "I'm starting to think that maybe you're not an alien, but that's okay. I like you anyway."
Ushiwaka blinks, not looking the slightest bit phased by this. "Okay. I'm glad. I like you too."
FILL: Belief (Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi)
"Yes he is," Oikawa says, with the same steady belief he has in his team, in the rising and setting of the sun. "He is most definitely an alien, Iwa-chan, how else do you explain those starry eyes of his? He comes from outer space. No human could possibly be so…"
"So?" Iwaizumi prompts, raising an eyebrow.
"So… Ushiwaka." Oikawa scrunches his nose up. "It's disgusting. I can't look away."
"There's probably a really simple explanation for that, you know," Iwaizumi says slowly. "I mean. Really simple. And I'm here for you to talk about it if you want. Not that you have to. It's just. You've been fixating on Ushiwaka for a while and you keep talking about his face and his shoulders, and I think you need to—"
"Oh my god," Oikawa gasps. "I can't believe it took me this long to realise."
Iwaizumi waits, feeling a little smug. He's ready for this. He's prepared. He's even got a bookmarked page in his internet browser titled How To Be Supportive Of Your Gay Best Friend. Because when he typed, what the fuck do I do about my friend being into ushiwaka and when is he going to a) realise b) shut up, he didn't come up with any results.
"I have to get closer to him," Oikawa whispers and, okay, Iwaizumi supposes. That's one way of putting it. "If I somehow find a way to get into the tiny group of friends he maybe has, then I can observe him from closer. I can find proof."
"What," Iwaizumi says, because.
What.
"You're right, Iwa-chan, it is really simple." Oikawa pats him on the shoulder. "I can't stop thinking about him because I don't know anything about the kind of alien he is. Maybe if I pretend to be good friends with him, he'll drop some hints without realising."
"Uh." Iwaizumi considers his options. Oikawa isn't going to listen to him, he doesn't even know why he assumed that might be the case. At least this way, he'll end up actually talking to Ushiwaka. He might even end up realising his feelings that way. Maybe. Hopefully.
•
"So," Oikawa says, giving Iwaizumi a conspiratorial grin. "I'm dating Ushiwaka."
Iwaizumi blinks at him. "What."
"I'm going to lull him into a false sense of security. I'm going to be the best boyfriend ever and he isn't going to suspect a thing. I'm going to uncover all his secrets. I'm going to stop the alien invasion before it can happen. I'm going to be a hero."
Iwaizumi opens his mouth, then shuts it again. He frowns. "Oikawa, it's been a week since you decided you were going to be friends with him."
"This was easier," Oikawa says dismissively. "He asked me to have coffee with him and he paid. This is going to be the easiest investigation ever."
"Uh huh," Iwaizumi says. "Good luck with that."
•
"You know what," Oikawa says, five years later, when he and Ushiwaka are sitting in a restaurant together. He turns to Ushiwaka. "I'm starting to think that maybe you're not an alien, but that's okay. I like you anyway."
Ushiwaka blinks, not looking the slightest bit phased by this. "Okay. I'm glad. I like you too."
Iwaizumi buries his face in his hands.