Someone wrote in [community profile] hqkink 2016-05-14 04:39 am (UTC)

FILL: new york eyes, chicago thighs (IwaOi, body worship, mirror sex, no warnings) (1/2)

THIS MIGHT NOT BE WHAT YOU WANTED ANON AND THIS IS MY FIRST HAIKYUU FIC AND I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING OKAY /sobs also it's some nebulous maybe post-college AU where they live together

In the end, it's really not that noticeable unless you look at Oikawa as much as Iwaizumi does. He's just- softer. Less defined, thighs perhaps with just a bit less space between than before, stomach a little more plush. It's not something Iwaizumi really minds looking at, either. Even though defined abs and muscular thighs are all very well, it's still Oikawa. Still his Oikawa.

No, what really bothers him is the way Oikawa looks at himself, his gaze a harsh caliper, criticism that doesn't even need to be spoken to say volumes. Iwaizumi is maybe one of the only people who knows how Oikawa really feels about himself, the gnaw to do well, to be well, to keep that attractive and competent facade up so that it's all anyone ever sees, ever. All the insecurity locked up in a box at the back of his head where it can be overlooked- even when it's locked in a broken box. Even when it's seeping out and poisoning everything else. Even when the facade is so important it's all Oikawa has left.

Well, he also knows when a good slap upside the head will help, proverbial or not.

After being caught at it a couple of times, Oikawa's been avoiding the sort of looking in the mirror that's really a critical analysis of every new softness and how weak it makes him. Whether Oikawa avoids doing it in front of Iwaizumi because he knows he'll be upbraided for it and he's avoiding that conversation or because he's afraid Iwaizumi might agree with how disgusting he is isn't clear.

What is clear is that when Iwaizumi come home from his job a little bit earlier than usual, the full length mirror has been manhandled out of the closet and into the middle of the bedroom. Oikawa is in front of it, and he is also naked. Usually coming home to Oikawa naked is an invitation to something exciting. But not this time, not with the look in his eyes. Not with the way that he's turning back and forth like he can't find an angle that doesn't disgust him.

The look on his face when he catches his boyfriend's look in the mirror is part shock and part guilt, and the disgust is still a smouldering current under both those emotions.

For a bare second nobody moves.

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